Bottoms would enjoy prison too much, I think.
Opening the pantry on grocery day is like opening presents on Christmas morning
if i ever date a famous person and got hate for it I’d honestly be the most sarcastic bitch ever to them I’d be like lol can’t hear you over the great sex we just had
if you follow me on tumblr and like my posts a lot i probably have fondly memorized your username and consider you a pal
sometimes i wish i had a nice body but then i think about going to the gym and i’m like nope
My laptop overheated last night and now my thigh has a burn on it in the shape of the cooling fan.
It’s your warrior’s wound. It marks your true dedication to the noble cause of blogging.
That sounds a lot cooler than ‘I have a first degree burn on my leg because I forgot to wear pants whilst using my laptop for 18 hours straight without turning it off’